Being Positive vs. Positive Self-Talk

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The wealthiest man I know once told me the key to success is having amazing self-talk. I remember feeling disappointed when receiving this advice over a nice dinner. What a conundrum that I’m getting advice from the a man who was featured in Forbes Magazine as one of the most successful people alive and I’m having a negative response to advice about positive self-talk.

I decided to investigate further what he meant by “you have to have amazing self-talk”. He went on to explain that self-talk is defined as what you say about yourself to yourself, and what you allow others to say about you that you believe. Then it hit me, my whole life I thought being positive is what having positive self-talk was all about. But after my conversation with Spencer, I realized that my self-talk had nothing to do with being a positive person. It had everything to do with looking in the mirror and honestly saying what I think about myself.

Most people have the wrong idea around what self-talk is all about. Most people, myself included before this dinner, consider being a positive person as what it means to have positive self-talk. I think of a funny Saturday Night Live skit like this one when I hear motivational speakers talk about having a positive attitude and living in a van down by the river.

Your self-talk is the most important thing in your life. The core of your self-talk is your belief system. Your beliefs construct your attitudes. Your attitudes determine your actions. Your actions come from your feelings. Your feelings come from your self-talk. If someone stuck a recorder inside your brain over the past 24 hours, I’m willing to bet the things you tell yourself about yourself would be scary. Most people spend their entire lives telling themselves what they can and cannot do. And as Henry Ford said “whether you think you can or you cannot, you are right.”

Your self-image is directly tied to your self-talk. When you look in the mirror, do you see someone who is fat, ugly, dumb, a failure, a bad husband, a lousy father, a victim, a martyr, a jerk, a nag, a mediocre worker…Or do you see someone who is fit, sexy, smart, a winner, the world’s best husband and father, someone who will go over, under, around or straight right though any obstacle in their way!?

In 1st grade, I flunked phonics, then in 2nd grade I flunked spelling, then I proceeded for the rest of my schooling to make F’s in any subject that had to do with reading and writing.  I developed a very real self-talk issue around the topic of reading and writing. I would say things like “can someone else read instead of me, I’m good at other things and not good at reading.”  One day a sales manager at the Southwestern Company challenged me when he said, “You know as long as you keep saying you aren’t good at reading, you never will be.”  I went home that night and made a decision that I would never again say anything about being less proficient at reading and writing.  Instead, I would say things positive about reading and writing.

I created “Positive Affirmations” around reading and writing, and I started saying them everyday.  My affirmations included “I am a wordsmith”, “I am an author”, “I am an avid reader”, “My lexicon is vast”, and “I am the world’s best Scrabble player”.  After a few months of saying these “Positive Affirmations”, I found myself picking up a book and started reading every day. Additionally, I opened up a Word document and started writing every week. More than 14 years later, I’ve read over 100 books and am the author of several books.

As humans, we are programmed to think a certain way, whether we like it or not. Either you choose to give up control of your own programming and let the media, society or your friends and family program you with what you believe about yourself and the world…or… you take control of your self-talk and start programming yourself with the things you want to believe about yourself and the world. If you want to take control of your self-talk, the most impactful exercise you can possibly do is to take out a piece of paper and write out a minimum of 10 positive affirmation and then make copies of your affirmations and carry them with you, post them on your walls, share them with other people and, most importantly, say them to yourself out loud every day.

Here are some of my personal affirmations: 

  • God gives me all strength, courage and confidence… and with God anything is possible.
  • I always communicate with confidence, unwavering Relentless Truth.
  • I always put God first, Kyah second, Haven third, friends fourth, work fifth, and myself sixth regarding how I make decisions.
  • I am an athlete. I am consistent with working out at least 3 times per week and walk with Kyah 2 times per week, and eating a Paleo diet.
  • I raise the belief, energy and confidence level of every single person I interact with.
  • I empathize with others’ struggles, pains and regrets and help them embrace truth, forgiveness, mercy and love through God.
  • Most of all, my life mission and what God has called me to do is help others reach their God-given potential every day.

 

Do Your Words Really Matter?

I AM....Do you talk to yourself? I already know the answer to this, YES, you do!  We all do.

But have you ever thought about if the things you say to yourself really make a difference in how you think, act or react?

Do your words encourage you or discourage you?

Do they give you confidence or do they make you self-conscious?

Do they make you want to keep going or do they make you want to get back in bed?

What you say when you talk to yourself is one of the most untrained on parts of being a sales professional, but one of the most important. It’s what we at Southwestern Consulting call “the power of positive self-talk.”

Learning how to talk to yourself is a really powerful element of building confidence on the inside so it shows on the outside. If you don’t believe in yourself very few will believe in what you are selling.

Positive self-talk is talking about yourself in present tense, which starts to create the vision of who you want to become.  Watching your words must be an intentional act of discipline to constantly reassure yourself that you can do this, you can learn this and it’s all possible.

The benefit of positive affirmations can be life changing. It can change your personal life, your work life, your confidence, it can change everything about you.

So here’s what I want you to do: make a list of all the things you want in your life.

What are the things that you want to have?

What are the things that you want to be and how do you want the world to see you ?

Do you want the world to see you as a loving father/mother? A loyal husband/wife? A hard worker? How do you want to be seen?

Writing positive affirmations allow you to physically see what you want written out giving you something real to look at and work towards

Long before I was any good at sales, my affirmations said things like, “I’m a million dollar producer, I’m a great speaker, I’m the top sales person in our company, I am a top leader.”

I may not of be all those things right now, but I want to be them. So I’m going to talk to myself like I am that person today.

My husband is a great example of this. He’s such an inspiration to me in this very specific area, because when he puts his dreams on paper, his affirmations, what he believes about himself, it always seems to come true. Not always today and not always tomorrow but eventually everything that he puts on paper, he finds a way to make it happen.

Years ago, my husband wrote down on his affirmations list “I am a New York Times best selling author.” He didn’t have a title, pages, or a topic of what he wanted to write. But he knew that’s what he wanted to be.

Five years ago, I wrote, “I’m a million dollar producer” down on my affirmations list. And I was very far away from being a million dollar producer. In fact, my best year at the time was probably just over $300,000 in personal revenue. In 2012 the same year that my husband became a New York Time Best-Selling Author, I sold over a million dollars in revenue for our company.

I believed it before it happened. I talked to myself as if it were already true, so when it came true it wasn’t that much of a shock. I’d been preparing myself all along to be the person I wanted to become. I spoke it out loud every single day.

So, here’s what you need to do right now. You need to write down 10 affirmations of who you want to be, present tense. I am a marathon runner, I am a million dollar producer, I am a loyal and devoted wife, I am in fantastic physical shape, I am the best friend anyone could have.

“I am . . . ” are the statements that you want to use. Present tense, to tell yourself that you are the person that, one day, you want to be.

How to be a Top Producer

The MINDSET to Top Producers:

1.  On both good and bad days we have to remember that the results we get are from the thoughts we keep holding on to.

  • To accomplish anything in life, we have to have a dream and want it so bad we cannot live without it.

2.  We have to see ourselves as entrepreneurs and not independent contractors or employees.

  • We have to have a love affair with the business of selling…we have to be passionate about it every day…don’t focus on the parts of the job we don’t like.

3.  We have to remember the major reason for financial failure is working on something you don’t like for a long period of time.

  • We have to remember in life and business; it is never easy or fair.

4.  There is not security in this business…there are only opportunities and with opportunities there is massive failure…get used to it, it is part of becoming successful and winning.

5.  We have to develop the ability to bounce back from setbacks and failures quickly.

  • We can never let our dream out of our minds, even for a moment.  When the dream comes out of your mind it gives the negative a chance to come in.
  • Spend time with the right people…who are the right people and are you spending time with them now?

6.  Don’t be impressed with your success and your intelligence, because there are smarter and brighter people than us in the world.

7.  We have to quickly get out of fantasy land and get into reality to build our business.

8.  We have to be mentally prepared for the cycles, because success is never one long upward trend.

  • Work 8 hours a day if you want to be good and you want to get paid…work a lot more if you want to be great and rich

9.  We can find all the answers if we are willing to keep looking.  Lets become solution driven, not problem driven.

10.  You have to become the eternal optimist

  • We have to work every day on speed and urgency.
  • Make GREAT service your obsession.

11.  Develop the mindset that honesty is the best policy with everyone.

12.  Work to keep your mind clear.

  • Focus on making decisions quickly instead of worrying about being right or wrong…just get it done.
  • Decide in advance you are never going to have a bad day. 
  • Do what you are supposed to do, when you are supposed to do it…whether you like it or not.

13.  Remember emotions and drama don’t strengthen the mindset.

 

Go make it a great day,

Gary Michels

http://www.turnitupanotch.com

 

Use the Power of Affirmations

Use the power of affirmations to keep you in the right mind set for achieving your goals:

· I am a high producer because I plan and I execute.

· You can’t be nervous when your mind’s on service!

· When a day looks really discouraging, it’s like me to smile and affirm my belief that my success begins where others end in failure.

· When you’re with a neg, shake your leg and get on down the street.

· Some will, some won’t, so what? Next!

· Lest I act I will perish in a life of failure, misery, and sleepless nights. This is the time. This is the place. I am the man. I will act now.

· When everybody else is ready to quit, that’s when I put my head down and go to work.

Does a Positive Attitude Increase Sales?

My days start and end with affirmations. The positive effects are innumerable and it can springboard you into some amazing days. Daily affirmations can put you into a mindset to be a blessing to everyone around you and to the whole world when you put the focus outward and truly look for ways to give of yourself. A quote that’s worth repeating is,

 “give without remembering and receive without forgetting.”

How does this affect your sales?  Can living with a sense of urgency and a positive attitude bring about referrals and more production? Of course it can!

Every day you make a choice to have a definite purpose and move towards that purpose through action, good things happen. The next quote that needs to become a part of your everyday life is,

“weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.”

You can be a machine that destroys Mr. Mediocrity everyday through action and movement towards your goals…believe it baby!

One of the biggest character traits of a Top Producer that goes un-talked about is the habit of speaking yourself into masterful results. You may already have phrases that you were coming up with, now you need to take them to the next level and really put some powerful words into them to become better and to become that person you are proclaiming.

A client of mine sets his phone alarm to go off and pulls his affirmation cards out of his pocket real quick and reads them. He’s just brilliant!

As I had mentioned in a recent audio training, I have an affirmation sheet that is laminated and hanging in my shower. This is such a great time to reflect on things you are thankful for. So begin to clean your head while in the shower while you’re cleaning your body. It’s so much fun!

LIVING and LOVING every minute of it,

Dave Brown

Partner/Professional Field Trainer
email – dbrown@southwesternconsulting.com
Join my professional network on LinkedIn

“If you’re not constantly learning you’re not fully living.”

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